Delete

Talking to a friend today, the topic of an ex/ex-friend came up. This, in turn, brought up the subject of Facebook, and how hard it can be to press that “delete as friend” button.  We talked about it for a few moments, before I realised just how odd our lives have become, in regard to social networking. For fear of upsetting ourselves, or someone we don’t even like any more, we (well, some of us) find it very hard to delete someone from our Facebook.

If you break up with someone, do you remain friends with them? Depends on the break up, of course, but in my experience, so far, staying friends is just near impossible. For me, staying friends with my ex’s (exes, exs??) in pre-Facebook days was hard enough. Seeing the person you were with out with another can be heart wrenching. Up until 2 years or so ago, I fooled myself into thinking it was entirely possible. After my third attempt at a relationship with a very close friend, I realised, No, enough! Staying friends afterwards just kept the door open for going back into a situation that clearly was not working.

Luckily, most guys I went out with repel technology, so my Bebo (Yes, Beb0!) stalking moments went unfulfilled. But I can see the potential for insanity while checking out pages. Especially if it was you who was the dumpee. Checking where they’ve been, who are they friends with, who is that in the picture with him… At least on Bebo, your every move was not available to your friends. Facebook, on the other hand, is just insane! If you have mutual friends, you can find out just about everything.  We all love a good nose about what other people are up to, but add a romantic history there, with some unresolved feelings, and you’ve got a good recipe for obsession. An obsession that the person being watched has not got a clue of.

Obviously, this is not the case for everyone! Not everyone is only a couple of steps away from crazy. There are people out there that have no problem being friends with their ex. As I said earlier, it depends on your situation. But whatever way you look at it, 98% of the time*, one person is going to be still hung up on the other. By taking the initial step and deleting, perhaps you are freeing yourself up from days/weeks/months of prolonged pain, if not for you, then your severed other half. Who wants to log online someday, feeling shitty from work or something, and see a tagged photo of them shifting the face off someone in a club?  I’d rather believe they are heartbroken and crying into their pillow every night, thank you very much!

*That percentage is completely made up.